Living In NZ

This was originally posted on my previous blog a year ago in memory of my Father who had recently passed away. It’s been just over a year now since he passed, I missed him every day and still expect to hear him answer the phone with “Madhouse” or “gayline!” when I call home. Sept would have been both Mum & Dad’s anniversary and Dad’s birthday so I guess that’s in part why my feelings are a little more to the surface this month than usual.

I have also added some images of Laphroaig Distillery on Islay, which was Dad’s favourite Malt and they very kindly allowed us to carry out Dad’s final wishes of visiting his square foot of sod which meant a lot to the family and we can only begin to thank them for that.

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It’s been just over a month now since Dad passed away and there have been good days and bad days and some really bad days along the way so far which I’m told is to be expected. My friends in NZ have been fantastic and making sure I’m doing OK but I’ve always been someone who doesn’t want to bother people but they know that so they make sure they pester me. My Partner, Angela, has been my rock of late, even when she’s not around I know I have her to lean on and that has been just so incredibly helpful I’m not sure how to let her know how much she has helped me as have my friends.

Being so far away from the family is hard, regular calls to Mum and my Sister & Brother help but it’s still hard all the same but we are all going through the same thing in our own ways I guess. Every time I call home I still expect Dad to come on the phone and ask me what’s ‘fresh’ or to find out if I’m running the company yet, or tell me something new about what’s going on in Glasgow.

Tomorrow is the 25th of Sept and would have been my Father’s 70th birthday, Saturday past would have been the party we had been planning for him. As you can imagine dates and events like these so close to someone’s passing are very raw and bring up a whole range of things and questions in your head about what you could have done differently or more of and stuff like that.

One thing I was determined I had to do after Dad’s passing was give the Eulogy. I’d seen ministers at other peoples funerals that didn’t really know the person adn with the best of intentions tried to get through it after talking to the family, but it would always be clear that they didn’t really know the person and I couldn’t have taken that, nor did I want to see mum go through that. There were just over 2 hundred people at the funeral that we could count, you do these things after the event I guess to help prove how well liked and loved your loved one is or was, I know it certainly helped mum to know so many people cared so much.

My brother Andrew, brother in law Raymond a close friend of my dad Joe and myself carried Dad’s coffin in as a final mark of respect. I was so proud of my young brother, he has been so incredibly strong throughout the whole time. Raymond, my sisters husband has been just outstanding and I’m not sure we’ll ever be able to thank him, and many other enough for the help they gave.

As I said I was determined to give Dad’s Eulogy, I felt it would be a fitting time to post this here, I hope people do not mind too much.

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Dad was never a boastful man, well not about himself, about mum, his kids and grandkids, yes to everyone and anyone who would listen but never about himself. Well I’d like to take some time and boast about our dad, someone we are and will always be very proud of.

Dad was a keen biker in his youth, his pride & joy was his James motorcycle which he spray painted… he did this by reversing the motor on my gran’s hover… and painting the bike, while it was waiting to dry, his mum, our gran, decided to hoover the carpets… pretty sure he got a thick ear for that.

He did his national service in the HLI and by his own admission did some pretty mad things, perhaps where the we get it from then.

He spent a bit of time in Cyprus and one incident that Mum had to tall us about as dad wouldn’t was when he and his team were ambushed, most of the team were killed, another pretty badly hurt and dad got shot as well. Somehow Dad managed to get the bodies of his team back into the truck and himself and the other guy still alive out of there and back to barracks. It wasn’t the only time he was mentioned in dispatches by the army.

When dad met mum he was working in the railway, he’d come into Dimeo’s café for a Bovril to warm up after a shift and meet his mates. Mum was working there behind the counter, only 16… he was 24, I think today he’d be locked up for that. Anyway, he’d ask for a cup of Bovril and 3 cups of water, to thin it down as it was way to thick to drink and there was no point telling mum this as he didn’t have to pay for the hot water, so 2 free drinks! 45 years later, & still together, that’s something rare and takes a special set of people.

Dad joined the Ambulance service and saw a lot of things that you shouldn’t really have to, I heard him speak a few times about the James Watt Street Fire where a lot of people died and that stuck with him for a long time, I remember the night of the Locharbie plane crash, it had only just come on the news and dad was on the phone to say, I’ll be right in, off he went and did the trip from Glasgow to Locharbie in his new VW ambulance (nicknamed Jezebel) in under 45 mins, that’s not too bad really and took charge of the ambulance response down there.

He’s delivered around 200 babies in his 25 year + service with them, and was annoyingly good at guessing the sex of the kid.

He once sat up an electricity pylon trying to talk a guy down, he and his mate had been up there for hours trying to get this guy down and he wasn’t for moving. Eventually dad said to him, right enough, if your going to jump then jump, if you’re not then come down, either way I’ve got a Mrs and kids to get home to, the guy promptly gave in and climbed down.

All this aside dad’s single and most important focus was his family, what will make them happy and what will be right for them. He encouraged all of us to do as well as we could, perhaps not always in the best way, but always because he only ever wanted the best for us.

For me, something I will always cherish and remember is my 1^st car. It was a 1981 Lada, the style that was basically a Fiat 125 or the like. Dad decided if I wanted a car then ok, but I was going to learn how to fix one if I was going to own one. This Lada was just a shell, not even sure it had wheels for a bit. We’d lay under it replacing break lines and fuel lines, under sealing it, cleaning the carburettor in the kitchen sink – much to mum’s displeasure. We must have worked on this thing for a couple of months together and finally we got it on the road…. We took it for the MOT and then promptly brought it back, on the back of a truck as it needed a bit of welding on the backend of it.. but it passed 2^nd time and twice after that.

Everything I learned about cars certainly came from dad.

I know he didn’t say it to any of us, but we know that dad was proud of us, when Lesleyann graduated Nursing, Andrew’s stint in London running banqueting at the Millennium dome and of course mum passing her driving test.

Growing up, dad was strict on us, sometimes we thought too strict, I know he mellowed a little when Andrew came a long, Andrew doesn’t think so but sis & I know better.

And then of course came the grand kids. Oh how he dotted on every one of them, it was a completely different side to my dad. He adored Rachel, Adam, Jordan and Samantha he would take joy in getting them wound up enough to hand back to my bother & sister. And he would take joy and a massive amount of pride at how good both Andrew & Lesleyann were as parents, jury is obviously still out on myself, but if I’m half as good as them and Mum & Dad I’m sure I’ll be fine.

Dad was also a great host, not so keen on visiting, but a great host, he always made our friends very welcome and I know they all appreciated that, and I think helped make them stronger friendships.

Dad loved winding people up, he loved arguing his corner and frequently did it with us, I think to make us try harder and stop us taking things for granted, with others I think he did it just because he could get a wind up in.

He especially loved being the underdog, taking on the council, or the science park, I remember he and the other neighbours up at Acre organised a barbeque on the science park road when the builders weren’t listening to them… Lately he was chairman of the Maryhill crime prevention panel and I know loved every minute of it. He loved to make a difference and help people anyway he could.

Something else my dad boasted about a lot was Scotland and Glasgow. He was very very proud of his country and his city. He made sure that people knew where he was from and made sure that we knew how lucky we were to come from here.

He also made sure that he sampled and shared the assorted Scottish Malt Whisky’s that were available, unless of course if you were going to put ice in it then you got the cheap stuff. I know he really enjoyed the nights toasting what ever with Geoff.

My dad lived for his family, right to the very end. He always said don’t waste a chance, you just don’t know what’s round the corner, he encouraged me to take the chance and take the job down in NZ, and that’s been wonderful and I know he enjoyed visiting there and I know he was proud of what I’ve done there.

He was just overjoyed at Andrew’s wedding, so pleased to see him settled and happy, so happy to steal my punchlines from my best man speech & just as happy when he saw Lesleyann married before that

He so desperately wanted to take mum to Canada and to get to Sarah & Neil’s wedding and he did that and much more and never regretted a single moment.

He hated people making a fuss about him and I know if he were here he’d be very touched that you all were here to celebrate his life with him and I know he’ll have one on the gantry for each of us when we get to catch up again.

Our dad was our hero and we desperately wanted to make sure people knew a little it of what he means to us.

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Images of Laphroaig